Regardless of your appearance, size, shape, and dating history. In our appearance-obsessed and hypersexual culture, the objectification and sexualization of women is, unfortunately, a reality. But when we buy into it — when we believe that our value comes only from our sex appeal
When we compare and evaluate ourselves to an unattainable cultural ideal, we fall short. Every time. And our relationships suffer because we struggle with never being good enough.
In the twenty-plus years that I have been working with couples and families in my clinical practice, I have found that there are two overarching reasons that we do not communicate honestly with one another — rejection and retaliation. We are afraid of losing our partner’s love and we are fearful of retribution, an “I’ll get you back” attitude.
When we internalize Hollywood’s exaggerated love story, we are setting our intimate relationships up for failure. It behooves us, therefore, to scrutinize our expectations and be mindful that relationships require work, effort, time, and investment. Know that there is no perfect person out there for you, the conflict goes hand in hand with intimacy, and love grows over time if we keep at it.
It’s so important to get to know yourself. This allows you to get clear about your must-haves and your deal breakers in a relationship. Being clear is the first step to being in a sustainable healthy relationship.
Many women enter a relationship because they are wanting so badly to be in one versus actually looking at the person whom they are dating. They will overlook certain traits or habits in order to not be along.
Showing up in the relationship as authentically and with as much honesty as you can, will save you in the long run. Eventually, relationships get more comfortable or the honeymoon ends, and people start learning things about the other they never knew.
Losing yourself in a relationship can be one of the most detrimental challenges to a relationship surviving. Once you meet a partner, if you give up all of your interests, hobbies, and friends, this usually means you are starting to lose yourself.